Festival-time

And I'm back from a week at a rock/let's get terribly drunk-festival with my best friend's ex, and two of his buddies, whom I tented with, plus my best friend who tented somewhere... else. Gingerboy was also at the festival and I spent large amounts of time avoiding him like the plague, and succeded reasonably well. I only spotted his orange head once in the distance, and made a run for it.

On the first day (possibly the second, I'm not good with days) I managed to a) lose my phone while b) having sex with The Ex's friend on the other friends mattress, while being c) drunk out of my head. During the next couple of days we then managed to evolve a "new-love"-cutsie annoying persona, everything is ours we are an entity kind of an annoying joint personality, and he moved into my tent. Which was just as well, coz the nights were serilously cold, even though I was drop dead drunk when I went to bed.

He also during this short week managed to bestow upon me a necklace he inherited from his grandfather, introduce me to his sister, drop me off his back, me landing on my face with my feet above my head nearly breaking my back, call me his princess, give me a hickey, drunkenly almost try to anal probe me with his thingy, become, according to his buddies, thoughly pussy-whipped, and make KP a far and distant memory.

successful vacation =)

I have no idea what's going to happen now that we're home, I still have his heirloom (haha), I owe him money (I think), and we separated on a very cuddly note, but my relationship anxiety hasn't gone anywhere, and he's never had a girlfriend so it's safe to assume he has a bit of a case of it too, and a summer fling could be nice I guess... But I guess we'll find out. I'm still leaving town, and I was sort of dating two other guys before I left on vacation... God the timing of this sucks.

re-installing real life

In an attempt to regain some sort of control over my life and my ID, I went to drastic measures yesterday. I uninstalled my IM and deleted my facebook-account. I'm contemplating getting rid of my mobile phone too. All these technological thingies just makes it far too easy to get distracted, and far too easy to spy on people you really just should stay far far away from. I swear, I'm convinced facebook doubles the time it takes to get over a broken heart. It's not an easy thing to do under any circumstances, but it's just so much harder when you can torture yourself by clicking into their profile and look at pictures of them, read what they're saying, and who they're saying it to. And I've been doing that for over a year now with KP. And of course this resulted in us eventually hooking up again, him breaking my heart again, hooking up one MORE time, and this time actually kind of finish it in a decent way. But I think it might be time to exit the information highway and roll the backstreets for a bit. Not just because of the getting away from the impulse to spy, but also to just live a little more inside my own head instead of Bill Gates' baby, and maybe try to sort out the emotional mess that's going on IRL. 

ID: one. Super Ego: zero

ok... There is one small chink in my armour of awesome... KP.. that dude makes me act like a pathetic 14 year old girl. Or not if not act, at least feel like said pimply horribelness. Now, I was thinking, or trying to convince myself that I was thinking, that I wanted to try and patch things up and be friends (FRIENDS, just ordinary FRIENDS!!) with him before I left town. The last time we talked, I yelled at him first in person, and then for ten minutes on the phone. He totally deserved it too, but it leaves for an awkward ex-dynamic. I mean, do I say hello to him if I meet him? Am I still pissed off (no, I don't hold grudges, but does HE know that?)? Is he pissed off with me? Does he want his t-shirt back? Does he know I'm dating Stu?

ANYWAY! One of the reasons he makes or at least made my himinageebies jiggle was that we were able to talk together very capably about the things that were bothering us and such. So... my subconcious (that really just wants to cuddle him close and make violent, passionate, sweet, soft love to him all night), tries to convince my concious that it is all in the name of talking to someone about my shitfaced fear of growing up. And sadly, it succeded for a long enough time for me to message him and tell him I wanna "be his friend". Leaving me feeling like an idiot. And slowly realising I have been tricked. Cruelly decieved by my ID.

So there. But except from this I am of course awesome in all repects.

Ho-code nr. 1; Ho's before bro's

This is reaching new levels of complicated. My best friends ex, but not only her ex, her first ever boyfriend, first ever anything, well I'm going on holiday with him. We're gonna be living together in a tent, getting ridiculously drunk and going to rock-concerts. And he's on the rebound from his LAST ex, who, when he dumped her, cried on my shoulder for about 4 hours. And threw up on my purse. So yeah.

ANYWAY, this guy is dropping inuendos all over the place, about how we should get naughty in the backseat in the car on the trip. Wait, that's not an inuendo is it. That's just a really really bad pickupline isn't it. Except he's doing it like haha, I'm joking. Or AM I? *shifty look*

Anyway, my best friend said the other day that since she's got a new guy and is like deliriously in love, she's not gonna be jumping the ex's bones on the trip. Oh yeah, she's coming too. But living in another tent. Anyway, since she's not doing any jumping, I could if I want to. I should ignore that right? You never get involved with your friends exes right? that's like against tha ho-code. Definitly. Yes. Stay away.

Karate kid

Ah Jesus. The AB, the friend I had sex with, has this friend he's been trying to fix me up with for a year, coz if I'm dating his friend, AB's girlfriend would probably let him hang out with me. Now his friend is very nice, a little emo, but cool and into marshall arts, which is awesome. But not so much with the sparks. Or I didn't think so. Appearently È did though, and since I've been talking about moving to the capital, he's applied for university there... Yeah. I unintentionally played him, and now he likes me so much he wants to move to another city. And AB knew that when he slept with me. I am gradually coming to realise that AB is something of an asshole. Too bad we can't be friends anymore, what with the jelous girlfriend, coz assholes make for the funnest friends =)

Bad girl

Yeah, last weekend i had sex with a friend of mine. Who has a girlfriend. The girlfriend has always hated me, even though I've never done anything to her before that. Not trying to justify my self, I'm a bad bad girl, I'm just saying. Anyway, girlfriend moves to town, won't let us be friends anymore, I'm moving away and not coming back, so we have sex. Him because he probably will never see me again and this is his last chance, me 'cause I'm a bitch and if the girlfriend is gonna hate me anyway, I might as well give her a reason. Even if she'll never know. Only now we have a slight problem in that I might not leave town, coz Queenie got cold feet. And my best friend is dating his best friend, and we're both running out of excuses to give them to why we can't hang out.
Being bad is hard work.

Early night

In lack of a diary, confidant, imaginary friend and such, I am going to write this blog to try and document the drama that seems to have taken over my life lately. Which is a lot of drama. A lot. Of... drama..

Yesterday, party at Queenies before clubbing. Tried to get Don in, but Queenie veto'd. Drank some vodka, some beer, som tea, som tea with vodka, and had a talk with Queenie about the fleeing town, which i appearently have to do alone now. Fan fucking tastic. We're all kinda high on eph and a little drunk, it's boring but whatever. Finally drive into town, we're there about half past 1, there's nothing really good going on anywhere, but we duck into a club. Run into Doll's ex, who I'm not supposed to be nice to but I'm nice to anyway. We dance for a while, run into this guy i had a fling with like three years ago, who is a close friend of Gingerboy, and drunkenly tells me Ginger is in love with me, has been talking about me all night, and I should call him. I say uhm. He asks if i wanna borrow his phone. I say I'm leaving town in three weeks, I'm not gonna start dating someone now, he says longdistance isn't so bad. Well no, could work I'm sure, if I actually liked the dude. But he's so... clingy... and... boring. Extremely pretty though, which is why this isn't easy. Pretty guys are hard to turn down.

ANYWAY, I'd watched a movie with Stu earlier yesterday, fallen asleep on his shoulder and had a pretty much good time, so more confusion. That guy just will not make a move though. He wants to hang out all the time and seems interested, but just no attempted kissing, groping, anything. But still, leaving town, whatever.

I'm still scouting for KP everytime I'm out, haven't quite dropped that torch yet =/